Royal Wedding.

April twenty-ninth, two thousand eleven. A celebratory event in British history. The much-anticipated Royal Wedding of the century. Enter Wills and Kate.


Now, post nuptials, they will be officially known as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Wills. Born a prince. Grandson of the Queen. Second in line to the throne of England.

Kate. Born a commoner. Humble descendant of a working class coal-mining family.

But in this official wedding photo you would never know. They make a picture-perfect pair. Regal and royal-looking as can be. Simple and striking at the same time.




I was bent and determined to catch every minute of the live coverage being aired on our west coast of Canada. So the alarm was set for 0100 hours. I know. One o'clock in the morning. You'd think Wills and Kate would have taken us westies into consideration and, for our sleeping-in benefit, might at least have had the ceremony commence a couple of hours later.

Oh well. Maybe Harry and Pippa will be a little more compassionate.

Kidding.

I honestly wouldn't have missed this event for anything. The groom looked dashing in his Irish Guard uniform. The bride ravishing in her luxurious dress, so sophisticated yet so simple. And for what my opinion's worth, I thought it was an unexpectedly modest gown. Except maybe for the, eh, rather plunging neckline. Miss Pippa's frock seemingly suffered the same deficit. But really. Reflecting on what might have been... the dress was perfect.

And oh, but I loved the endless hours of entertainment... commentators gossiping on all that fashion and finery brought together in one place.

The Queen looked her typical sombre self. Didn't smile much, despite that cheery, daffodil enssemble. HRH Mellow Yellow.

Blinding brooch. Ah-ooh.

And did you see those beady eyes give the dazzling bride the royal go-over! A condescending head-to-toe if ever I saw one! Ever-composed Kate didn't even flinch. Go, girl.

For an 85-year-old lady, though, she looked mighty swell.

As did the dapper Duke of Edinburgh, although it seemed he was challenged with gravity as he climbed into the coach, post-ceremony.

Did you catch that?!

Camilla. Perhaps for the first time in my life, I felt a little sorry for this stepmother to the groom-of-the-hour. Her presence accentuated the absence of Diana, and perhaps ignited some awkward memories for Camilla.

But she looked every bit the part, linked on the arm of her Prince. Then again, unbeknownst to the vast majority, she's had years of practice linking herself to him. No small wonder they look so comfortable with each other.

Two questions for Victoria Beckham.

One. How in the world did that fascinator of yours stay in place?

And two. Can you smile, lady? At all?

You'd look mighty more complimentary beside that handsome husband of yours.

Sour Puss Posh.


And oh those adorning fascinators! Absolutely fascinating, to say the least. Subtle and sophisticated. Brilliant and brash. This wedding of the year definitely showed off the world's best and worst of accessorizing!
 
I'm sure I haven't seen them all, but here's my TFW. Top Five Worst.
 

What was she thinking? Maybe she wasn't thinking. But I'm thinking she looks totally freaky... the overstimulating octopus bow and the ghastly goth eyes. She needs help. Somebody please help her.

Loud, loud, loud. Look, look, look. Fresh from the garden with a peony bush blooming right out of my turban. At least the lipstick blended.

These two socialites were definitely in the market for turning heads. With these get-ups, I'm pretty sure they achieved the one thing they set out to do. New nose, or no new nose. They turned heads.

Flowers? Feathers? Guess being a princess, it's difficult to decide. But she clearly decided to match the big sister with her goth look. Ugh.

I couldn't help but notice the irony of the ceremony. The reverent scriptural reading of verses from Romans 12, but how much of it actually rang true with those guests? The Bishop of London and his mantra about love and self-love, and how the more we give of self, the richer we are in soul. Huh?

The whole show, of course, generated some interesting input from the girls.

Of the Archishop...
           "Whaaaat is he wearing?"

On Harry, removing his hat at the entrance to the Abbey...
          "Uh-oh. I think he forgot to do his hair."

On Prince Charles...
          "Wow. He's pretty ugly. Does he know that?"

As Harry checked out the bride coming down the aisle...
          "He's gonna get in big trouble. I don't think he's supposed to be peeking."

During the ceremony...
          "Why didn't Kate give William a ring? Did hers cost too much?"

Of the Bishop of London...
          "Sigh. Mom. I didn't understand a single word he just said."

Of the guests stammering through the hymns...
          "How come those people don't know the words?"

Of the choir boys...
          "Do they like wearing those frilly costumes?"

Of Harry chatting up Pippa on the balcony...
          "Hope his girlfriend's not watching. She's gonna be mad if she is."

To be honest, I think Harry was flirting with Pippa. Just sayin'. He sure looked like he was enjoying her company, anyway.

We were tired the next day, but the whole experience was well-worth losing a night's sleep over. We shared in a moment of history that the girlies will probably remember for a long time.